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The Brave New World … Post-Coronavirus

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The Brave New World … Post-Coronavirus

The Brave New World … Post-Coronavirus
March 31
15:00 2020

I suspect our post-Coronavirus will feature permanent changes, just as the post-9/11 world changed.  Since there is not much else we can do these days, let us take an imaginary tour to that world after Coronavirus.

We are likely to hyper-hygiene as a new part of the American culture.  Rubber gloves will be ubiquitous for those interacting with the public  — especially in the food industry.  Handwashing might well be part of the education curriculum.

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The practice of shaking hands will be abandoned.  Even the knuckle-bump will give way to the elbow-bump – or not touching at all.  Liberals will be back to tree-hugging.

Hospital visits will be strictly limited – and you will have to be dipped in lye when you register at the desk for your face mask, gloves, and hospital booties.  You will easily recognize the medical staff because they will be walking around in astronaut-style hazmat outfits.

Checking out an apple or an avocado before you purchase it will be a civil offense.  Touching it and putting it back in the bin will be akin to double-dipping in the hummus – which is already under social scorn.  Elevator buttons will disappear, and you will simply call out your floor number – and since you cannot be closer than six feet to other humans in a public setting, all elevators will carry only one person.  Garments will be designed with elbow Kleenex pouches so that you can cough into them and discard the top one immediately in a nearby incinerator that will destroy it like that flame paper use by musicians.

Carnegie Hall will be torn down and replaced with a larger facility in which the orchestra members can sit six feet apart – as will the audience.  Dancing cheek-to-cheek will be outlawed.  Sports stadiums will be turned into flea markets.  All sports were bill available only on television or online – which means you will not be able to tell the difference between those that are real and those that are computer-generated.

Of course, sex is out of the question.  Our species will be propagated by in vitro fertilization.  The transfer will be made by those folks in the astronaut-style spacesuits.

Even with all these protections, humans may not live any longer – it will just SEEM a lot longer.

As ridiculous as all this may sound, you need to be aware that there are likely some folks out there who will be saying, “those are good ideas.”  Just pray that they do not take over and visit upon us their brave new world.

So, there ‘tis.

About Author

Larry Horist

Larry Horist

Larry Horist is a conservative activist with an extensive background in economics, public policy and politics. Clients of his consulting firm have included such conservative icons as Steve Forbes and Milton Friedman, as well as the White House. He has testified as an expert witness before legislative bodies, including the U. S. Congress, and lectured at major colleges and universities. An award-winning debater, his insightful and sometimes controversial commentaries appear frequently on the editorial pages of newspapers across the nation. He can be reached at lph@thomasandjoyce.com.

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