DimWit Politics

The Tale of a Sick Uncle Sam

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The Tale of a Sick Uncle Sam

The Tale of a Sick Uncle Sam
October 16
19:13 2018

It was in 2008 – as the residency for Dr. George W. Bush was coming to an end – that Uncle Sam collapsed on the floor of the housing market.  Things were not looking good for the old icon.  He was bleeding jobs and all the vital signs were pointing downward.  There was a chance Sam could slip into a coma.  His family – we the people – were very worried.  They almost fell into depression.

Panicked by his condition, and blaming Dr. Bush for not preventing the collapse, Sam’s family hired a new team headed up by Dr. Barack Obama.  To offset the bleeding, Dr. Obama pumped in a big transfusion of money and prescribed a bunch of economic medications that would regulate Sam’s symptoms but not address the underlying cause of his collapse.

Having earned his medical degree from the University of Socialized Medicine, Dr. Obama believed that constant transfusions of money was the only option – even if the family could not afford it.  But no matter.  Dr. Obama said they should just go out and borrow the money.

So, month after month and year after year, Sam lay in Intensive Care showing very small signs of improvement, but not enough to see him on his feet again anytime soon.  In fact, Dr. Obama and his team of specialists all agreed that everything possible was being down, but it would be a looooong time before Sam would recover fully – if ever.  We would just have to accept our weaker and frailer Uncle Sam.

Then along came Dr. Trump, who had gotten his degree from the School of Common-Sense Medicine.  He diagnosed Sam as strong as a bull but in need of a different treatment – one that had been proven effective in the past.  Sam did not need that highly expensive stuff that Dr. Obama has been prescribing – at more than a trillion dollars  per year, to be precise.  Dr. Trump promised to provide much less costly treatment that would be far more effective. 

In response, Dr. Obama and his team called Dr. Trump a quack.  If he is allowed to treat poor ole Sam, they said, the old geezer will just get worse.  In fact, just hiring Dr. Trump would probably send Sam into a downward tumble and eventual cardiac arrest. 

But seeing Sam just laying there, weak and helpless, for so long was enough to try something different.  Maybe it was a risk, but what the hell?  Sam’s family turned his care over to Dr. Trump.  Just the thought of a new doctor and the possibility of new treatment made Sam feel better.  His stock perked up almost immediately. 

Just having the family hire Dr. Trump put Dr. Obama’s team into shock, however.  Many were found huddling together in safe space trauma centers across the nation.  Others were so angry at the family that hired Dr. Trump that they went on a rampage – calling the family a basket full of nasty names.   

Dr. Trump said that Dr. Obama was doing too many things to just regulate Sam’s problem and not enough to cure him — and THAT was the problems.  According to Dr. Trump, Sam needed to be taken off all that  stuff Dr. Obama had prescribed to regulate Sam’s condition so that his own body could heal itself.

Rather than spending all that money on Sam, Dr. Trump suggested that the money saved be given to his family so that we could use it to buy things Sam needed – and the more they bought, the better Sam felt.  Soon, Sam was out of bed, out of the hospital feeling better, stronger and healthier than ever.

Instead of admitting he and his staff were wrong, Dr. Obama started saying that Sam still had problems.  And when he could no long point to any problems because all of Sam’s vital signs were amazingly good for a guy of his age, Dr .Obama said that it was he and his people who had saved Sam’s life and that it was his treatment that put Sam on the road to swift recovery.  And with that, Dr. Obama handed the family an $18 trillion bill not covered by insurance.

Uncle Sam was back to his old self – taking care of his family — and everybody lived happily ever after.  Okay, not everybody.

 

 

 

 

About Author

Larry Horist

Larry Horist

Larry Horist is a conservative activist with an extensive background in economics, public policy and politics. Clients of his consulting firm have included such conservative icons as Steve Forbes and Milton Friedman, as well as the White House. He has testified as an expert witness before legislative bodies, including the U. S. Congress, and lectured at major colleges and universities. An award-winning debater, his insightful and sometimes controversial commentaries appear frequently on the editorial pages of newspapers across the nation. He can be reached at lph@thomasandjoyce.com.

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21 Comments

  1. Nannoo
    Nannoo October 17, 21:31

    SO very true I love this story and how it was written

    Reply to this comment
  2. SUZY
    SUZY October 17, 22:59

    Send this to Greg Gutfield @ FOX NEWS!!! He will love it! I did! VOTE FOR REPUBLICANS ON NOVEMBER 6TH!

    Reply to this comment
    • Laurel
      Laurel October 18, 18:04

      NO WAY REPUBLICAN!!’ All you get with that is the same caste system they have already put into action! Wake up!! Think of others not just yourself. Oh I forgot your republican and were never taught that!

      Reply to this comment
  3. Joe
    Joe October 18, 00:45

    Wow. What a story. I wish I had written that. It occurs to me that if the author of this could find a way to incorporate these facts into storybooks for children, we might have a chance to weed the communist out of our culture in the next decade or two.

    Reply to this comment
  4. Roger
    Roger October 18, 06:51

    Great understanding of a bunch of socialist commies; a lazy group of traitors. They’re trying to takeover our country and put all of us into poverty. While they steal us blindly of billions of dollars. George Washington would have had them shot! I love my country; to bad they only love money!

    Reply to this comment
  5. DAV
    DAV October 18, 08:38

    Excellent, Larry !

    Reply to this comment
  6. Davey Jones
    Davey Jones October 18, 08:44

    This is infantile crap- we all know QE was the result of Dubya’s cretins in the Republican party who tried to screw over Obama. We all know that Republicans destroy real wealth.Check the stats,people. The growth now is not from Trump you morons-it’s from Obama’s time. Trump just increased debt by giving tax breaks to scum.So grow up, vote for an adult, because your orange moron has done nothing but lie and cheat and brag. He has achieved nothing.

    Reply to this comment
    • Laurel
      Laurel October 18, 18:09

      Here here! Such a true insightful statement. Unfortunately trumps largest base can’t read or can’t comprehemd what they read. All their interested in and only voted for him as he made it not only ok but accepted to be a racist like him!

      Reply to this comment
      • JJ
        JJ October 19, 19:42

        To bad you don’t know what a good President is. Oh, we probably read and write and understand what is happening here better than you do.

        Reply to this comment
  7. Not a dimwit
    Not a dimwit October 18, 11:00

    Whoever wrote this is beyond any doubt a world-class dimwit!

    Reply to this comment
  8. Rucy
    Rucy October 18, 11:27

    What a bunch of hogwash!
    Trump is slowly destroying this country with every appointment he’s made. Trump doesn’t care about the American people. Wants to gut SS & Medicare to pay for huge tax breaks he’s given the super wealthy. Let him also cut the military spending! He’s obviously in bed with the Russians & Saudi’s. He’s a rude, narcissistic slime who is without a doubt the worse and most anti-American President in history! That is how this slimeball will be remembered! You can’t sugarcoat the truth!

    Reply to this comment
  9. Rucy
    Rucy October 18, 11:35

    Pure HOGWASH!

    Reply to this comment
  10. Vuv
    Vuv October 18, 12:13

    If Dr. Trump cured anyone at all it was his own pockets and all of the pockets in his exact situation, there’s no way in hell that you’re going to convince me that Iin less than a year he bought down unemployment all in his own without Obama’s help. How dare you.

    Reply to this comment
    • jj
      jj October 19, 19:44

      Yes Vuv, believe it. Obama did nothing but borrow and give away. I dare.

      Reply to this comment
  11. jussmartenuf
    jussmartenuf October 18, 13:07

    Gee, Larry. You seem to forget that the money infusion started with the G.W.Bush administration before Obama took office.
    You seem to forget that all the infrastructure work that Obama and the Dems wanted to do to start the economy was killed by McConnell and the Repubs as McConnell famously said the Repubs number one priority was to make Obama a one term prez by killing any initiative he or the Dems wanted to do to help the miserable financial condition W and his cronies created.
    You seem to forget that the Regs were put in place to help the environment and citizenry, but Trump removed them to help himself and his billionaire donors get richer.
    You seem to ignore that the 18 trillion started with Reagan, not Obama and that Trump and his crooks have already added 2 trillion in less than two years as payoff for himself and his billionaire donors.
    You seem to forget that just yesterday McConnell and your buddies say the only way to cure our problems is to kill social security, medicare and medicaid making the poor poorer and the rich richer.
    Gosh, Larry, you sound like your Alzheimers is accelerating.

    Reply to this comment
  12. Jim
    Jim October 18, 15:25

    This is the biggest pile of horseshit I’ve ever seen! You better get your head out of Trumps ass and look around ! Trump has us started in the direction of a huge recession and more then likely a depression! He’s spending more money then Obaama did and where’s it going? It’s not going on our infrastructure! We are being led by the biggest Buffoon we have ever seen. And lap dogs like this writer is helping this loser rob our country!

    Reply to this comment
  13. me
    me October 18, 15:44

    you’re an idiot

    Reply to this comment
  14. Nick
    Nick October 18, 16:02

    A nice little story. Cute, very easy to follow fairy tale.

    Reply to this comment
  15. Cool Ray
    Cool Ray October 18, 17:34

    Hmmm… this seems like a case of “selected memory” to me! I recall that when Dr. Trump took over in 2016, he repeatedly announced that he is smarter than ANY doctor, and pushed the real doctors aside and claimed he could manage Uncle Sam’s condition better than anyone! (It was fortunate that Uncle Sam was already cured by Dr. Obama when “Dr.” Trump took over!) Back when Dr. Obama was called in to take over after Dr. Bush, who had given Uncle Sam recreational drugs so he would be “stoned out of his mind” so Uncle Sam wouldn’t be concerned about his own declining health condition caused by Bush’s lax regulation of the lending industry and other failed Bush policies. Suddenly, Bush’s policies caused a huge clot in Uncle Sam’s bloodstream, causing Uncle Sam to collapse from a brain aneurysm! Dr. Bush panicked and did not know what to do! Fortunately, Dr. Obama volunteered to step in at just the right moment! To offset the bleeding, Dr. Obama pumped in a big transfusion of money and prescribed a bunch of economic medications that would regulate Sam’s symptoms but not address the underlying cause of his collapse, (namely, the Republican party), because “mud-slinging” wouldn’t change anything or solve the issue but instead would make it worse. Dr. Obama immediately administered rehab and began to restore quality of life to Uncle Sam. Not wanting to admit they were the ultimate cause of Uncle Sam’s problems, Republicans vehemently denied that Dr. Obama knew what he was doing and constantly blocked Dr. Obama’s treatments. But Dr. Obama did not give up! He knew it was important to save Uncle Sam and realized he had to do whatever was necessary! Dr. Obama knew that recovery from a brain aneurysm can be long and slow. So, month after month, Sam lay in Intensive Care showing steady signs of improvement. Dr. Obama offered to help friends of Uncle Sam become healthy and prevent their own brain aneurysm by treating their symptoms like being “underwater” on their mortgage. The economy improved, unemployment fell to record lows, gas prices also fell to record lows, and Uncle Sam and his friends were once again functioning as a healthy individuals!

    Then along came Dr. Trump, who had promised to “Make Uncle Sam Great again”. Unfortunately for him, Dr. Trump had gotten his Medical degree from the Trump School of Common-Sense, (which by the way was closed-down for giving out fake diplomas). He diagnosed Uncle Sam as strong as a bull (thanks to Dr. Obama) but in need of a different treatment – one that would benefit the rich and big business and leave the rest of the country not knowing what had hit them! So even though the economy was benefiting greatly from Dr. Obama’s policies, Dr. Trump decided to rip those policies out, one by one, because “Dr. Obama wasn’t a white man, so how could he possibly be educated and do the right thing?” Dr. Trump wanted to cut “entitlements” like Social Security which people had paid into all their lives and were depending on. “Make ‘em work till they drop” was his mantra! Let’s Make America Great Again (snicker-snicker)! But Dr. Trump couldn’t get those “damn Democrats” in Congress to go along with him, so he disguised cuts to Social Security and Medicare as a “Tax Cut”! Brilliant! “We’ll drive up the deficit so far… at more than a trillion dollars per year, to be precise… that there will be no other choice but to cut these programs (says Dr. Trump to himself)! So, tax cuts went into place, the stock market blew through all records, unemployment fell to record lows and everyone is elated, oblivious to the impending doom caused by this mess! Although Dr. Trump promised to provide much less costly treatment that would be far more effective than Dr. Obama, Dr. Trump failed to mention that part of his “treatment” would eventually require Uncle Sam’s limbs to be cut off, and make all of descendants of Uncle Sam pay for it in the future. After all, Uncle Sam is getting old and isn’t really a “productive citizen” anymore, right? “What the hell does Sam need it for… he’s too old”, says Dr. Trump! Rather than spending all that money on Uncle Sam, Dr. Trump suggested that the money saved be given to his family”. “Once Uncle Sam’s limbs are cut off, just tie a concrete block to Uncle Sam and dump him in the river”! So much for making “Sam Great Again” And with that, Dr. Trump handed the family an $18 trillion bill not covered by insurance that nobody could possibly attribute to being “his fault”. Uncle Sam’s family was happy but they “won’t know what hit them in the future, long after I am gone” snickers Dr. Trump! … And everybody lived happily ever after. Okay, not everybody, and not ever after!

    Reply to this comment
  16. Lori
    Lori October 18, 18:01

    Trump=common sense you say? He doesn’t have an ounce of common sense! Only people who have benefited from him are his “buddies”, the rich! The poor, nothing, middle class, nothing. Increase costs for gas, food, charge accounts, mortgage, etc. and this is only beginning. Wait until next year when his tarrifs take hold! Pray tell what has he done for us! He has taken care of his cronies. What about us trying to survive on SSI!! Haven’t had increase in several years, medicate costs have risen. Now they want to Rob those accounts! It’s not their money. It was put there by hard working people who have a right to collect it when retired and need it. Let them try to live on >$1200/mo! They couldn’t do it. They spend that in a day! This is America. We should take care of retirees instead of lenslizing us for working all our lives, paying taxes, contributing to social security in hopes would cover costs when retired..Not happening! I am 73 yo, in good health and capable of working but most people won’t hite me because I am 73 years old! My husband is 76 and not in good health, unable to work. Not that anyone would hire him because he is 76 years old! Talk about a “catch 22”!!!
    I’m sorry about Uncle Sam but I can no longer do anything about it!
    Another thing I keep hearing how great the job market is but I have family members who are looking and capable of working but can’t get job. Their not looking for an executive position just looking for anything with a paycheck.
    I would love to see these senators and their families go look for a job without using their influence! They probably wouldn’t be able to handle even an assembly line!! Housing another thing. The American dream of owning a home is disappearing as we have such a large population who can’t afford it! How can a person working in factory or whatever just earning minimum wage or even double that, marriednwith a child or children afford to save 20-40,000 for a down payment.
    Time these big shots look outside their circle and see how the everyday person lives and scrapes by!
    Maybe their should be a probationary. Year for senators where they only earn half the salary they get and let them see how the average American lives! (Even with 1/2 salary it is more than the average worker makes) let them pay rent, mortgage, utilities, car insurance, car payments and maintenance costs, go to grocery store to buy their groceries, clean their own homes themselves and cook for themselves! After having pasta 3-4 times a week because it is cheap you can’t look at it any longer! Meat of any kind is too expensive to have more than maybe 2 times a week! Costs are out of sight, quality very poor. Meat is like chewing shoe leather! Matter of fact shoes may be cheaper but I doubt it. I’m still wearing shoes from years past as I cannot afford new ones! Imagine new shoes are a real treat!
    Ok I digress. Only thing I can say is it is unfair!!!to the American public!!
    And unnecessary! We have plenty of money just not being used correctly. Stop the exorbitant indulges they spend. Like trumps weekly trip to Florida to play golf!!!! Each trip costs over 1 million dollars and he goes every weekend!! ( wish I could go away once a year much less every week).
    Please tell Uncle Sam I’m sorry he is sick but feeling better. Please get well. Is “average” people need his help urgently.
    After all this I know nothing will come of this note! It will be read, maybe if lucky commented on and the in the pile in corner covered with dust maybe or just ignored and erased. Oh my god how did this happen?

    Reply to this comment
  17. Di
    Di October 19, 03:37

    I do not know why all those who are against Trump can’t get better under his leadership. My husband and I are in our middle 70’s and never lived beyond the middle class but have saved and be frugal and see ourselves in a good place. All the changes Trump is making will strengthen our nation and make it possible to exceed in the World. I have no desire to have social med or food handouts! We tithe our money and help those in need. God has always met our needs, not government.

    Reply to this comment

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